I have a Pocahontas song in my head and I can't get it out

How high does the sycamore grow? If you cut it down, you'll never know.

Yes, I quoted Pocahontas. It's stuck in my head. That tends to happen when you don't know where your thoughts should go.

February is known to be the month to celebrate Valentines Day. And for people like me, a day to be aware of your lack of love. Rather, that form of love. We love plenty in other ways.

But twice this month now I've heard grave news. Two separate people that I once knew have died, the common denominator being that they were so young.

Another common denominator being I knew of them, but I didn't personally know them.

I've met them, spoken to them, but it ends there for me. My ties are with the people they left behind.

We all have a circle of people we care about, and they in turn have their own circle, who have others with their circles, and so on and so forth, until it includes the entire globe. We are all connected, so where does that circle end for us? To what point do I consciously draw that circle, between which people?

There's a sort of displacement when people right outside the circle suffer. You still care, but it's different - you feel empathy, sympathy, but also guilt - who are we to mourn this life, if we didn't know them as well as others?

It's like I find myself guilty for feeling too much, but also for feeling too little. I go through my days in a fairly normal way - and there are occasionally moments where I stop, and think about the fragility of life, and the utter unfairness that surrounds these situations. But then I look up again, and I keep going, only hoping that the ones closer to this tragedy find ways to get through the day, find ways to be okay.

Maybe that's why Pocahontas is in my head right now. Maybe this is about really looking at what's around me, about thinking outside the box we've made ourselves.

This box called the earth, the planet, where we live and die, and there is a natural order of things. We know our history, we know the animals, the plant life, and that knowledge is passed down form generation to generation, until its all muddled and we interpret it in such a skewed way that if we took a step back we'd realize the banality of some of the things we do. But no, we continue on, focusing on all the wrong things so intensely, so blindly, that the mere idea of looking up and considering a different option is considered slander, blasphemy, witchcraft, illness.

I'm not sure where I'm going with this. I just know that when things like this happen, one tends to self reflect. Choices we were about to make change, because once again we are reminded of the fragility of life. But is that all their deaths were? A reminder of how precious life was?

One lived an entire 17 years on this planet for the sole purpose of reminding people that life is a gift and we must cherish it?

I could have spared her life and told everyone that myself. We all could have. But it doesn't work that way, does it?

We fear not knowing. We fear that there is no reason for anything to happen, so we put our faith in explanations, theories, and we call it truth.

And not to denounce what people believe in, I would wholeheartedly agree that to believe in something is better than nothing at all; and who would I be to tell you all that what you believe in is wrong? I am just another person on this planet that will die one day, in order for someone to realize how precious life can be.

If I chose to believe that, that is my doing. That would be my faith.

But what I truly believe, is this:

We are all connected. No matter how many times I despair at humanity and our weaknesses, our greed and selfishness, our hatred, our complete ignorance and blindness to all that we have, to all that's around us -

no matter the examples time and time again given that we are not a worthy species -

I am proven wrong.

Those small shining moments of bravery, of courage or community. There is always more good than bad, always more heroes than villains. And even if it looks to be a huge deplorable mess, our societies, our structures, our waste, our beliefs - we learn.

We learn so much.

--

Something I thought of due to recent events. What if we all had clocks, timing down until our untimely death? Kind of like that Black Mirror episode, but not a dating app. You couldn't say anything about it to anyone, couldn't stop it, couldn't try to save them.

what would happen if you walked by someone who had five minutes left to live?

What if you woke up one morning and your loved one had three hours?

What if your parents both had ten seconds?

What if someone gave you a massive hug, and told you they loved you, and started to tear up?

EOTD - What would you do?

The next time something happens in your day that frustrates you, makes you impatient, or irritated, or completely angry - just breathe, and change its course. Especially if someone else is involved.

Someone cuts you in traffic, and you are livid - what I do is scream at them to have a lovely day, or yell out an absurd but sincere compliment (I HOPE YOU HAVE AN AMAZING DAY, THANK YOU FOR USING YOUR TURNING SIGNAL, YOUR LITTLE ZOMBIE FAMILY LOOKS SUPER COOL ON YOUR BACK WINDOW)

Someone walks into a restaurant, or a retail store, and immediately growls out an order - make it your mission to make them smile or laugh, or even just not frown.

Kill anger with kindness. Don't give in to those feelings, because as much as hatred, ignorance and anger can be contagious, so can the opposite. 

Everyone has someone they love. And even if someone is not acting the way they should, or if they don't believe in the same things you do - somewhere in the world, someone is thinking about them. and because the circle is infinite, at one point, the system of caring will come back around. Whatever you put out in the world, whatever you do, it will always come back to you.

So spread what you want to receive. And when unspeakable things happen, when people pass, when others get hurt, keep spreading it, because what they need the most from people like us, is love, and support, and strength. 

Fight the disease. Fight heartbreak, anger, hatred, greed. Fight it with all the strength I know you have, and share it with others.

Even if that just means saying nothing, or holding your tongue, or speaking out, o just being there - 

Do your part.